Welcome to Carrie Gravenson's website. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you laugh again. You seem emotionally unstable.

Simpsons plots not yet used.

I say nuts to those who say the Simpsons have run out of plots.   Ideas are all around us.  Here are 20 completely original plot ideas I just thought of off the top of my head:

  1. Lisa and Bart fall in love and Lisa gets knocked up and decides to have it.  Is Bart a father or an uncle?

  2. Marge gets bladder cancer and can’t help but pee everywhere.  Comedy ensues as she buys adult diapers for herself at the same time that she gets baby diapers for Maggie.  Will she learn to cope?

  3. Principal Skinner bans pencils and pens in school after Martin, while defending Bart, stabs Kearney in the neck with a pencil, paralyzing him from the neck down.  Can the school afford laptop computers for every student?

  4. Bart accidentally kills Maggie in a trashcan fire and replaces her with another baby that he stole from a homeless shelter.  How long until the family notices Maggie is Hispanic?

  5. Krusty the Clown finds out Marge is his real mother and moves in only to regress to infancy.  Will Marge be able to wean him off the nipple?

  6. Comic book store guy has complications from gastric bypass surgery and learns that true beauty is on the inside.  Will the comic book store suffer?

  7. Bart meets a wacky scientist who sends him back in time where he meets a young Marge and has to get her to fall in love with a young Homer, lest Bart never be born.

  8. Thelma and Patti gun down Mayor Quimby when he won’t legalize gay marriage in Springfield.  They hide in a cave and become very pale.

  9. Homer loses his job and to help make ends meet, Bart starts giving blow-jobs to patrons of Moe’s Tavern through a glory hole in the bathroom.  Comedy ensues when Homer becomes his best customer.  Does Bart know it’s him?

  10. Groundskeeper Willie violently rapes Mrs. Krabappel at a school dance.  Was she asking for it?  The viewer decides!

  11. A mysterious new illegal drug sweeps Springfield making everyone really sleepy.  Was the drug introduced by the new local coffee shop?  Or will people be too sleepy to uncover the mystery?

  12. On a dare, Marge kills a weird loner, skins him and wears his skin to her bookclub the next day.

  13. Lisa gets athletes foot.

  14. In a crazy mix-up, Apu has to host Saturday Night Live at the last minute with no rehearsals at all.  Can he pull it off or will he kill the show forever?

  15. In a highly publicized medical case, Maggie’s anus starts producing office supplies.  Will doctors figure out how it’s happening or will the family count their blessing in free paperclips?

  16. Turns out, Ned Flanders is a pedophile.  Rod and Todd (and maybe some viewers) have known for years but how exactly do Bart and Lisa find out?

  17. The affirmative action episode!  Dr. Hibbert only got his doctor job because he’s black.  Does that make him a bad doctor?

  18. Disco Stu shamefully develops a taste for human flesh but keeps it a secret from his latest girlfriend.  Will she love him enough get him the help he needs?

  19. Homer finds the perfect cantaloupe at the supermarket only to find out it’s a giant tumor.  Will it still be delicious?

  20. Milhouse learns to mix methamphetamines from Sudafed to make extra money so he can buy Lisa a Christmas gift.  But will he get hooked and lose his teeth?

To the writers of The Simpsons: you’re welcome!

The baby.

Know thyself.