Welcome to Carrie Gravenson's website. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you laugh again. You seem emotionally unstable.

What a busy December I'm having.

So, here's a tip: If you ever host a party and invite a lot of really awesome, funny and creative, yet lewd and perverted friends over and get them drunk, hide the dry erase marker from the calendar on your fridge.

See if you can guess the events that were there before the party and the events that mysteriously appeared on the calendar after the party:

12/1 - TV Day
12/4 - Carrie Hosts Gotham
12/5 - Housewarming
12/6 - Buy Tiff a gift day
12/8 - Put more sexy baby pictures on fridge
12/10 - Reduce anal leakage!
12/12 - Give Edith $1,000 day. 2pm
12/16 - Penile Enlargement
12/17 - High Colonic
12/18 - Low Colonic
12/19 - Laundry
12/23 - Penile Enlargement
12/24 - Snow is like coke!!
12/25 - JC's B-day party BYOB
12/26 - ♥ Your Gaga
12/28 - Anus flush/Neti pot
12/29 - Vagina filthification day
12/30 - Vagina cleanse/Penile Enlargement
12/31 - Hyman reconstruction
1/1 - Beginning of your white history month

Any guesses?

Apologies to Miley Cyrus.

How I broke Key Food.